my god!!, another outing

today we head out for another outing to midvalley. it was actually a request from sook kwan. she wanted to go out for another day. maybe she was bored of going out by herself. brenda need to go to work. she was pretty left out. and we set to meet at midvalley around 2pm (chyn asked me to be there at 2pm, but that bugger didnt showed up on time. he was in KLCC to post some things.) surprisingly, i bumped into a junior of mine from USM School of Art (well, not quite a junior coz he was older than me.) we had like a 10 to 15 minutes conversation. the final minutes of it was full of silence. so , i better head off to MPH. not pretty close with that guy, but since we were from the same school (or they call it faculty), there's no harm catching up with the old times. although there's nothing much to be said between us.

went to MPH bookstore. walk directly to see graphic design/software references section (adobe photoshop, illustrators etc) and after walking around a few racks, i stumbled upon some old gaming books (walkthrough and guides) for some PS2 games like GTA III, Tenchu etc. majority of the games were pretty outdated and the condition of those books were pretty bad. it looked like it was being used by other people for so many times. later i went to the music section, quite interested in those books on the beatles. i wish i could get few of those books. continued to the guitar tabs and reference sect, not really interested of those guitar tabs anymore, except titles from jimi hendrix, or other guitar gods. i could see one malay guy was browsing through a guitar tabs of metallica, the new album st. anger. it was not a very good album, in fact for me, it doesnt generate much interest for continuos listening. just a few times of listening, then i'm done with it. 50 bucks wasted!!! few albums can make wanna listen to them all the time. one of them, as i mentioned lots of times, is the double disc recording from the smashing pumpkins (mellon collie and the infinite sadness). back to the story, got a call from sook kwan. but the reception was pretty bad, she can't hear me properly, maybe i spoke too soft. i don't except myself to yell on the phone in a bookstore, like some ahbengs were talking and walking around petaling street; ignoring all the people around him that seem pretty annoyed with these kind of rude behavior. finally i decided to make a call to her. can't get through. so i sms'ed her. she replied and she said she was on the 3rd floor, around the cinema area. she asked me to come a.s.a.p. when i reached there, she was already queueing up to buy tickets for a movie, some thai horror movie called shutter. damn, i hate horrors movies. always gives me the creeps. anyway i forced myself to watch it. fortunately we cant get tickets for the movie, actually we can get it but it was too close to the screen. only the 1st and the 2nd row of seats were available. so..we canceled it off. i'm saved again..hahahah...

chyn still haven't reached midvalley. me and sook kwan walked around on the top floor. finally reached a mini bookstore/newspaper stand/magazine vendor. bought a copy of the star, sat on the chair that's readily available in front of me. it's for the people who patronise the food court. it was at some corner, so not many people around. chyn arrives. i suggested to them that we'll have lunch. wanted to eat at the food court, but sook kwan wanted to go to Kim Gary's. some franchise restaurant from hong kong. it wasn't my first choice but just adhere to sook kwan's wish to eat there. it was at the ground floor and situated outside. not the inside of the building. i ordered rice with black pepper beef and iced milo. kinda ok. and sook kwan ordered rice baked in cheese with chicken chops. that is one hell of a meal. anyway chyn didnt have anything, just a glass of chinese tea. sook kwan paid for that. thanks for the meal!!!! we walked around the mall, went to toys 'r us. and i saw some transformers alternators figure. shit!!! wish i could get those too. but it was the different type that i saw in BB plaza, those cost around 200 bucks, but these were only 99bucks. it seems that the ones available here was made of plastics. the ones that i saw in BB plaza was made of metal. and i already set my mind on the subaru impreza wrc2004. and the jimi hendrix figure (2nd set) and the 20th anniversary Optimus Prime. arghh...my list could go on and on and on and on.

after that it was another makan session at jusco. we shop for some sushi's and tempura at jusco. it was wednesday, so they had this wednesday special thingy going on. all the sushi was sold for only 99cents/piece. grabbed 9 pieces + a packet of mini wasabe + a bottle of yogurt drink. and they bought their stuff too. chyn bought a 3 pieces of sushi (it's not like him, usually he would buy a lot) and sook kwan bought some tempura and other stuff that i can't recall now. for the second round, i bought some octopus ball (if not mistaken it was called tako or something like that). bought 3 pieces. one for each of us. really damn full.

time to head back home. really wanted to go home. since it was too boring, i decided to follow them back to kotaraya where sook kwan would meet up with brenda. and the 4 of us went to popular bookstore for a while (brenda needs to change the plastic bags). we lepak there for a while, around 5 minutes. continues our 'journey to petaling street. i'm not fan of petaling street. even though they would sell some pretty cheap imitation goods eq, dunhill, nike, reebok, Ck etc. u name it, they got it. and those pirated cds, vcds, softwares and dvds. i hated it because it's packed with peoples. it would get crowded all the time. i wonder where the hell all those people come from. all the stalls were set-up colse to each other. and there's no room for people to walk. everybody was forced to squeeze into a metre-wide lane. just like the traffic jams in kl. sometimes it was person walking in that lane. arghh...i just can't stand crowded spaces. i wonder how to survive in kl when i get a job here. we head to some 5 foot ways for some fish dish. (damn i cant recall what it was called in english. arghhhh....it was ikan bakar actually. ohh....now i get it, it was grilled fish. damn..i'm quite sleepy now, i cant recall even a simple word.) we sat on the wrong side. (the first side was the noodle side, the other side was the grilled fish side. so..we get told to f**k off from the table. we need to order their food in order to sit at the tables. and so we head off to the other side. managed to find empty seats. ordered drinks. 4 packet drinks with a glass of ice each. and it cost us like rm6.80. i think there' s something wrong with that old man's calcualtion. gosh..what a rip off. finally the grilled fish and squids were served. the food was just ok. in a scale of ten, i'll give it erm...6. the squids was even worse. later, we went back. i went to the usual place to board the bus back to sri sentosa and 3 of them would go to their own destination respectively.

yesterday's outing

The Meeting Place
meet up with chyn and sook kwan at KLCC in the morning. sook kwan wanted to go for a karaoke session. asked whether dave was interested to join us a day before, but he can't. NKS again... so only the three of us were there. after i met up with them, we walk quite a distance to the karaoke place (Red-Box) at Jalan Raja Chulan. it was in some shopping mall. can't remember it's name.

The Session
we registered at the counter, the attendant told us to go to room 25. the waiter asked us to order our F&B. all of us ordered tomato fried rice. why?? coz it's the cheapest in the set-lunch menu. haha!! chyn started the first session. sang some chinese song, i really don't know what's the title. never into solo chinese artiste. majority of them are merely singer/musicians. they are just marketing tool for recording company to rake money. i knew some new pop boy/girl group. twins, boyz etc... when i was watching astro, i scrolled throught the chinese channel "wah lai toi". it was some charity "live" concert. the 2 bands that i mentioned just now appeared on stage. they sang, i listened, and i booed their damn miserable vocals. if the don't have the capabilites to sing live onstage, better the lip-synch. at least it "sounds" better. i can't say that i can sing really well, but it's better than those so-called-artiste. i have to admit that i have an unofficial vocal training "teacher". he was Wong Ka Kui (the departed frontman/rhythm guitarist of Beyond). when i was a teenager, i used to listen to their songs. i often tries to imitated his vocal, the way he sings it, the way he scream etc. it was some gruelling session, the off-pitch which occur quite often enough. with lots of practice, i succeed. it was quite difficult to imitated him, but glad to say, i can do it like 80%. and i can imitate other vocalist as well. but it's not a good thing when u played in band. when i sang in the band, i can't really get my own "voice". too much influence from others. i really need to find my own "voice". i started off with coldplay's "the scientist". need to something more easier to sing. i knew that my voice is not quite good that day, and i was right. with a bit of running nose and some mild sore throat, i can handle most of the vocal part except the ones that required me to scream. so i "kantoied". i have this attitude whenever i went to karaoke session with friends. i cant let go of my self and have fun like other people do. i had this mentality problem that i often remind myself that i must sing every songs to perfection. and i approach each song too seriously, like a professional vocalist performing his own composition/song. maybe i'm too self conscious. need to really let my hair down and enjoy, even though i was off-pitch. there's one person that i would respect whenever i went to some karaoke session with. my friend/former coursemate Kok Wai. he's not a very good singer (i'm not trying to 'kutuk' him here..let me finish) and sometimes his singing was even close to "talking". BUT, i do respect his openness and guts to sing it out loud and have fun. he's not self conscious at all. even if he's off-pitch, he just don't give a damn. REMEMBER, it's just a karaoke session. it's a place to have fun. you go dude!!! my utmost respect for you!!

i still remember last time, during one of my last session in Red-Box in penang with chyn. both of us had chosen "always" and "i don't wanna lose a thing" from bon jovi and aerosmith respectively. after that two song, we can't hard breathe, heart was pounding like a locomotive and my head fell like exploding and i think we even lacked oxygens in our head. hahah.... in this recent session i did choose other set list that i'm familiar with. last time, it was just beyond and bee gees and some other songs, but this time it was different. coldplay, beatles (one of my favourite band), metallica, beyond and some background vocals for chyn, even a malay song "belaian jiwa". but just quarter way past the song, sook kwan accidently or "intentionally" skipped the song. cisss.....damn kejam. and one thing i had notice of sook kwan whenever she's singing, she would always look out the room for people who passed out room. i'm pretty sure she was not looking for some handsome hunk, but i think she's kinda self-conscious too. she was looking if somebody was watching her sing.

Post-session
after the session at Red-Box, we went to Sg Wang plaza. we didnt shop around coz me and chyn were jobless now, sook kwan was also not in the "condition" to shop either. financial problems..... we just walk around, and i showed them basheer bookshop where they would sell a lot of art, design books. spent some time there. need to get some color studies books in the future. spent about an hour or so there. after that we went to the food court. ordered penang laksa (it was the spicest and hottest penang laksa that i ever put in my mouth. i can really tolerate hot and spicy food:it's my favourite kind of food, yesterday's laksa was too hot for me) and sea coconut drinks. the other 2 didn't ordered any food, just 2 cups of sugar cane. after finishing my food, i need to order another cup of sugar cane. too hot to handle....phewww!!! have some pretty decent chat with them for a few hours. need to wait for brenda. she will be there around 6pm. she's working at saito now in PJ. when she finally arrived, we went to McD. chyn ordered chicken burger adn brenda ordered 2 pieces of chicken. i had nothing, just sit there and eat chyn's french fries. and i was right about my hunch bout brenda. she's kinda different when i saw her. hmm...she's not as cheerful as she was last time. she's kinda serious now. so we crack some jokes bout her saying that she had change.

PS2 is back, finally....phewww!!

finally my PS was back at home. i really MISSED it sooooo much. at one time i was glad that i'm able to continue my daily 'drill' but at the same time, kinda pissed coz i don't any warranty even though the console was broken juz after 2 months. the price to pay for when you are using the 'xxxxxxxxx' games. damn!!!

bought the new GTA. San Andreas. but something was wrong with the optical lense. it always displayed this "ERROR READING DISC" message. changed it a few time from the shop where i bought it, finally after the second time, i lose hope. i decided to change it to another new game. X-Men Legend. kinda cool game. really learnt a lot bout the X-men in that game.

Got a few photographs from chyn (from our recent Genting Highland outing), a greeting card from one my friend/ former coursemate Wai Kuan. Thanks 4 the card ooo... and a card with a letter from a 'person' (that gave me a S.L). don't wanna write a bout it, but it really gave me some reality check on myself and at the same time i really felt kinda insulted by the letter. the contents really made me feel like a LOSER. loser or not, i wll make sure that person will eat back her words one day... i got S.L because i changed job without looking for a new one first (maybe she should experience mt situation before she make any comment). i got my reason for changing my job with looking for another one. i planned to work in KL. so it would be difficult for the take leave every time i need to go for an interview. when you are looking for a job in your home town, it's different. you can always take an hour or so to attend the interview on your working day. and when your living in those 'small' states, job were scarce especially in graphic design. and each time i went through the newspaper (the star; east coast edition) i can't find graphic design vacancy often. so i really need to go to kl (because the edition had plenty of job opportunities)

these day, i'm really really really in a tight budget situation, i'm wondering when i can be more steady (financially)...Sigh....if the situation remains the same, i wonder how can i survive, and the band plans to make it big. sometimes i really doubt it.

i should have taken some business related course instead of graphic design....they get better salary!!!

next week interview

after been here for quite a long time, finally i got an interview (two actually). the first one is for a graphic design post, the second (management trainee) but i dont think i can got for the second one coz i need to go back to kuantan for a few days today (Dec14). i really wanna go for the second interview, but unfortunately i cant coz i had forgotten to bring my damn cert to kl, got no photograph (a recent one), and need to get my hair cut. it's too long already that i cant really stand it anymore. i don't intend to be a rockstar wannabe. should cut it to shoulder length.

yesterday (monday) was quite free, i didnt go back to kuantan. actually brenda wanted to go out on monday, but i said i need to go back to kuantan. actually i was kinda broke, i need to forked out like 400 bucks to pay for the cost of repairing my PS2. i think i had been ripped off by that damn company. so, i decided to go back to negotiate with the shop, if i can't get what i want, i will surely take my case to the consumer association of pahang (at last i got the address for that place). ur are doomed my friend. i'm not pretty sure whether i can get refund or something, but i wll try.

back to brenda's case, i can sense that something not right about her these days. her sms reply was short, straight to the point, and she replied me at 2am and 4am. and the reply was just 5 or 6 words. not sure what was wrong, but will ask her bout it next time. her actions kinda make me feel uneasy, like i'm always pestering her 24/7 and she was not interested in meeting up. i don't have other intention, juz wanna meet up an old friend.

sms dave that i would like to develop the R.O.O (Rise of Osxxx) song.

back at home, i need to prepare a lot of things, photostate my cert, take a new photograph (or maybe not), burn the band's demo for a few people, (marni, kiew, etc), and hell lot of things which cant recall now. already made a list of things-to-do in kuantan. should be busy as hell...

no outing tomorrow, etc

i planned to meet up with brenda today (sunday; dec 12) but she said wanna meet up on monday. i really didnt know the reason, and don't intent to ask her. i'm pretty sure she got her own reason. since i'll be out of kl next monday, so i can't really meet her up. plan towards another meeting next time when i'm around.

need to go back practice my guitar. it's been more than a week since i touch my 'beloved' axe- the battered Hofma. that axe really gave me some pretty happy/proud/sad/embaressing moment in my life especially in my Uni days (with dave).

• Happy- i could come out with some pretty decent tune with that axe. instruments are important, but it's the player's creativity/passion/expressions that can make a tune comes alive.
• Proud- used it to perform in some stage performances. but in majority of those performances, i never had the chance to express my music. were forced to play as sessionist. or play cover songs.
• Sad- i used it to write Shattered Life (S.L), when i shattered my own life. and now S.L became our trademark term to describe some members of the band (esp me and dave) when we kantoied in love.
• Embaressing- the ultimate unforgettable experience in my life time, flopped up on stage with dave in the Humanity Nights. the equipment failed us, the new strings failed us, even the cable was having a nights out to make us feel like shit on stage. we some some tunes, and we can't even finish playing them. really sorry to my guitar hero, Billy Corgan, to failing to perform his tune 'galapagos'.

yesterday's stuff

finally today i managed to send out some sms to some of my friends. i just top up my phone. it's been more than a week since i had been struggling to survive with a few cents of credit. it's damn difficult to live without my phone (it's damn old model of nokia which can kill a dog.)

finally i replied to kiew's sms (it's some kind of a pic message). i told myself long time ago that i will reply all sms that had been sent to me even a simple ones, or some picture message. need appreciate them, coz even one simple sms meant a lot to somebody. we does know how does it feel not to get replied when send a sms to somebody. it's like talking to somebody 'in front' and he/she don't give a 'fuck' to you. back to the story, i told her that i'm in kl now, looking for a job. and she asked me whether 'the band' will be jamming or not. coz she wanted to join us as an audience. last time when she joined us for jus a short time. and when i went back to my hometown, she sms'ed me that she was interested to join us again in the future. and i thought she was kidding. coz i thought who would wanna join us playing/practicing. coz we always fooling around in the studio (except last saturday's session where we (me and dave) was not in the mood. and making sooo much noise in the studio. and BW (black widow) bought some new amp head, and stacks. 100watts if i'm not mistaken. and it was fucking huge. and sounded not bad. prefer Marshall amps. They kicked ass... Long Live Marshall!!! i'm really vying for a Marshall amp. but now need to settle my job first...

i had also sent some sms to one of my former coursemate from kedah. she was one of my good fren there, she was working as a nurse before she join us in USM. although she was like 12 years older than me, but we were quite close. she was a malay lady and we even shared the same birthday. 29th February. i asked her lot of her work (she's still works as a nurse in some Government Health Center), and i told her that i'm currently searching for a job, coz as some of you knows, my previous job sucked like hell. and she only got my number coz all her contact numbers were lost when she lost her handphone. so i offer to type all my numbers ( former coursemates only ) and print it out, and send it to her a.s.a.p.

was browsing through the newspaper all day. and to my surprise, there were a lot of graphic designers vacancy available in the paper. thank god!! but can't be so happy soon coz the competition to look for jobs are pretty competitive. and i need to go back on next monday morning. damn, how am i suppose to do when there is an interview next week. shit!! i'm not staying in my aunt's place (for some apparent reasons).

need to go back to kuantan and retrieve back my PS2 (and i'm not sure whether they will finish repairing). life is damn bored without my PS2. i'm looking forward to play some new games, like GTA: St Andreas. it's been 2 month since my console was having some problem. i need to write to the star for some advice soon. i feel cheated, coz it was broken less than 3 months after purchased, when i take it back to the shop, they don't even offer to replace or repair it. i was told to repair the console, and paid 30 bucks for service charge. and this is what you get in malaysia, LOUSY CUSTOMER/AFTER SALES SERVICE. they only care to make money out of you. bastards!!!! should have bought my PS2 in KL.....

and just now i visited dave's blog, and that bugger was making some good comments on my stuff. thanks dude. but i didn't the stuff to make him miserable. i just wanna share those stuff, and see whether we can develop it in the future. difficult to show those stuff in the studio coz it wasted lots of time just to show some chord or whatever. and please don't make me sounded like some fucking cool guitarist/guitar gods, coz i'm really not that good. if i'm good, then why i always 'kantoied' (flopped) when practicing?? haha...that shows that i sucked... actually those songs were developed for quite some time. some of those riffs/chords/lead/lick need to developed or refine to make it sounds cool. some were pure divine inspirations, and some of it, need to search for it (that means, i imagine before i play+need some influence too). and he can play TE's stuff too. just lacked some 'souls' in playing FP (finger picking) tunes. he doing a great job picking up fingerstyle. i'm quite interested in fingerstyle also, but i lacked determination to learn the style. maybe one day, but not now. there are plenty for to learn for me....i told fei bout my plans to learn FS, and he already warned and threaten me not to. coz if i do, i can't get free lift from him anymore when we go jam. kejam..... but don't worry, i will fused FS and rock/metal/blues together. we'll make FS rocks!! hahaha!! we'll name the new genre finger rock style.

kick off a storm!!!!!!

before i start anything, i would like post a comment from dave. really feel flattered lah, dude. hahaha. that riff was in pentatonic scale, plus i add in a lydian or dorian mode inside. thanks for your comment lah. but i don't think it sounded like vai or gilbert lah. it's all 'cheat'. hahah. i know lots of 'cheat code'. actually i tried to show you the song. but the sound in the studio memang a bit noisy. so cant listen properly. and i even show what to play also. anyway, here goes the comment:

"Oh my god!!! just downloaded tk's latest stuff, called k.o.a.s (Kick Off A Storm), is damn damn bloody cool! (i don't know of any other way to describe his new material) sounds bryan may-ish, vai, and gilbert combined. lots of accurate and perfect timing shreadings and he did it so naturally! i really got to learn to play like that! aiyah..but i am so used to using a thumbpick and not a plectrum. so, it's going to be a bit hard. i can't do that rapid-up-down "string-strumming"..chiak. but i like fingerstyle guitar too..grr... but alamak. i memang kow-tow to tk's originality, creativity and technicality. you're damn good man! *thumbs and toes up!!* his other untitled tune, is equally quite nice. "easier" la..haha...but still damn hard to copy. i only pandai main C D Em G. :P i'd try to come up with the lyrics (although i am not really much of a lyricist) soon. "

THE RHYTHM PART
ok, now for the song. it's in the key of D (if i'm not mistaken, it's in D minor). the intro was a lick/riff that i developed for quite long (really searched for that thing in my head for a few days). forget the intro, easy stuff (but i still can't shred, hahah. that's the truth lah. that is not shredding). the rhythm part also damn easy. power chords. that's the essense of a rock, baby. so , we cant kutuk punkers anymore. hahah. i think the chords are D5, C5, F5, G5 then D5, C5 and Bb5.

THE LEAD PART
now's the trick. i can't really explain what note i played. all i can tell you is the lead part consist of 4 lead guitar (and i'm still thinking how we're gonna do it, if we record the damn thing). even if we ask stanley to play also not enough. hahah. at first i only got one riff. then i tried to harmonize it with another riff. actually i got a 2 guitar part version, but didnt save it in the cd. then when i'm not satisfied with the 2 guitar part version, i add 2 more lead part. so there's 5 guitar inside including the rhythm part. maybe we can ask wai to harmonize of part for us. we do it 3 part harmonies. i will try to figure how we can 'emphasize' on the riff part. coz that's the signature of the song. and guess what the song is not even completed yet. hahah. so when we finish it, it will be at least 5 or 6 minutes long. shit man, almost all my songs are damn long actually, but the longest one is the demo for 'pearl jam-esque' dropped-d song. 9 minutes. hahah.

THE 'CHEAT' LEAD/ HARMONY
u won't believe this, man. each lead part only consist of 4 notes. haha. minimalism, but still effective. actually i'm kinda proud with this song also. but the demo i uploaded to you still got a lot of timing problem lah. i cant synchronize playing with myself. other people were having problem synchronizing to others, but i had problem playing along with myself (not that kind of "playing"). hahah. the later part is better.

did you know where i got the idea from? part of it is from listening to Queen ("Prince' Of The Universe"), of course. and another part is reading haha. i actually got the idea of duo guitar lead from iron maiden. heheh...although they are not in my 'influence' list, but they still can make a difference ehh... read guitar magazines is good for you...rock on, dude.

*mine was only 5 guitar part, imagine brian may was doing like 30 guitar overdub. my god.. memang guitar god lah....btw, listening to creed's "What's This Life For", i think mark tremonti recycled his riff in a song from "Wheathered". and bugger, please don't 'bull' that u only knew how to play G, D, Em, G. Cisss...........

chat

it's been awhile since i meet my former housemates. i think since after we graduated in 2003, we had no opportunity to meet up and had a decent conversation and catching up the old times. really wanna meet them, unfortunately, they were busy people. there is 6 of them in my former place in penang. 4 gals and 2 guys (me excluded). actually i'm really not that close to my former room mate. a guy from melaka and the other one from sibu, sarawak. one of them kinda give hell of a time to me (esp when he is with his (now-ex) girlfriend). there are a few incident that really pissed me off. but i won't tell the whole story here. HINT: Love Making/ Sex. i'll leave it to your imagination. the second thing was her highly-pitched voice. and that's one irritating girl. her voice will drive you up the walls esp when she's calling her 'honey'...wooo..i'm getting gooose bumps already.

the other 4 gals were also from melaka. they were cool but sometimes we will get some pretty minor misunderstanding. hey..that's normal right. and we even got some pretty cool nicks for each other, namely....odie @ liching@ wong, mohku (mushroom) @ keat inn @ jie yen, ranjit @ tracy and another one ...i don't have names for her. nice to have them as housemates. thank you gals!!!!

so, a few hours ago, i went online. and to my surprise, i met odie and jieyen online. we had quite a long conversation. really misses them a lot since we parted ways bout a year ago. they were all busy especially odie (who's working with Bata) who always flew to China, Hong Kong etc. such a busy person. and jieyen..still in melaka. forgot what she did already..so sorry. anyway she wont care since she don't know bout my blog. really wanna meet up with them face-to-face and have some good time together.

the other 2 was tracy and chen yong. chen yong, working in an insurancy comp. and that's all i know bout her. seldom contact her. and tracy, sometimes will get sms from her and forever complaining bout her master degree and the workload she had to endure. never felt pity for her coz she's the one that wanted to do the master degree. no one force her to..hahaha. also would like to meet up with her and we'll have some kutuk session just like the old days...

fuck it

i could never believed that i had been "Shattered Life" (S.L) again. damn depressed these days. gotta change this entry a bit for some personal reason. so need to stop whining and start living my life.

need to follow my motto for life:

"Live My Fucking Life Full and Cool"

i'm back

it's been a while since i blogged. got no internet connection a home, so it's kinda difficult to do that. still feel a bit depressed following the S.L (shattered life) thingy that happened to me on friday. and that was the same day as dave's NKS showing. it's not as bad as the previous S.L that i encountered in the past years (i would get VERY depressed, and even will 'destroy' something, anything..)

for dave, he didnt win the NKS thingy. but it's ok. there's no shortcut to success (in our case) we hope NKS could kickstart the band as well. when the result was announced, we knew that we need to do it the hard way. So..it's back to square on, guys. and hopefully, wai can join us in the next session. coz the session on saturday sucked a lot. dave was not himself, i'm not myself either (coz of S.L) and the only one that's normal is fei. and fei, so sorry that we play like fuck that day. just wasting out time in the studio. really cant concentrate that day. next time need to be more 'professional' when handling these kind of situation. need to show more musicianship and not just thinking bout other stuff when we're jamming. i need finish off the lyrics for 'Resurrection'. that day we played 2 versions for that song. one the original hark rock version, and the other a quiter strumming version of it. it seems to me that they prefer the quiter version. anyway, both version will give some sore throat. need to sing it in a grungeir feel. really can't sing pop-rock style, loses all the power and feel.

still need to find a job. someone help me, man. really need a job asap. and gotta jam and develop the band and the music. i really envied those local bands that had made it out there. i knew it was fucking difficult to do it. even some of the them are not playing 'extraordinary' things out there, but they had really worked hard man. even though our band 'B.J' had some good talents there, dave, fei and wai, but we're still stuck here. we need some opportunity to expose ourselves. and there's one thing that we can do. i suggested to them that i wanted to join Asian beat next year. i don't give a fuck anymore. been wasting our talent here. need to work out the songs, make it good, make it special. and dave/fei/wai, if you're reading this, 'blast off' the show in hitz.tv thingy, you had to play cover songs. can't play original stuff, coz they stated that audience cant relate to your stuff coz they don't know you song.

sms'ed brenda yesterday. she was busy also (based on her sms: short reply etc) but i asked her out again on weekends, just for a chat. been a long time a didnt see them..