I had enough of these bullshits shoved to my face

i had, had enough of the bullshits that my comp shoved to my face. yesterday, again i was asked to work overtime. i really had no 'problem' working with overtime, but...when some asshole in the last minute (or hours) inform to you that you need to finish a multimedia presentation from scratch (minus the audio) 4 hours before the day ends because he need it urgently the next day for a megaproject, he had finally crossed the line. i was fucking pissed and asked that guy why the hell the didn't inform me earlier on project. Can you guess his answer??

A) Ohh..i was too dumb to tell you what to do.
B) Ohh..i was too busy doing my things and totally forgets bout it and now i need you to cover my ass
C)Ohh..i just wanna test your phsyical and mental endurance working overtime till
2am and come to work as usual in the morning.
D)Ohh...actually i intend to do that to you for no apparent reason. (saja suka-suka)
E)Ohh..maybe i (myself) totally forgot bout it when u informed me earlier this
project, so i did deserve all the fucking bullshits.

The answer is: F)All are true above except E.

I really have some problems with the company. every thing needed to be done was shoved up to you face in the last minute. why can't they be more responsible and inform you earlier bout the things needed to be done. all they say is "Can you finish up the thing by today. i need it tomorrow." What the fuck!

It's been a long time since i felt dizzy and blur like this in the morning. the last time was like a few years ago when i'm still in penang. doing my artwork till dusk (my artwork time usually starts at night, and will end early in the morning. and by that time, i felt like a zombie, and need to push myself to classes. and i really hated the English classes in the morning. after a few sleepless night before, you need to attend classes at 8am, walking damn far the class, crossing the fucking busy road of Jalan Sungai Dua together with hundreds of students, climb/walk up the steep road (or should call it a hill with tar on it) to the Language Centre (Pusat Bahasa). Enough of the past. Now i can't wait to 'bla',chiao and f**k off from the company. even the the previous com don't need you to do those kind of O.T, even the dateline was close, and the project was given earlier (big project was given a dateline bout a month, and smaller ones, it will be a few days). and this bugger was worst, a multimedia in less than 4 hours. hmmm..maybe i should tell the truth if it happens my boss asked me why i resign. it should provide 'plenty of information' for the use of his company.

woohooo...Man Utd won

Wow..Man Utd won yesterday at Old Trafford beating Turkish Champ Fenerbahce 6-2. Just so happy because Man Utd had been struggling at the start of the season. And it's a wonderful debut for Wayne Rooney, scoring a hattrick in his magnificant first match donning United's colour. Well, Giggs scored, van Nistelrooy and even David Bellion scored in the 6-2 trashing of Fenerbahce.
Serves Fenerbache right, because of the trash talk by their goalkeeper. This is what he said (source taken from Man Utd's website)

Recber writes 'em off
Manchester United have been written off as Euro flops by Fenerbahce's keeper Rustu Recber. He insists Wayne Rooney and Ruud van Nistelrooy hold no fear for them in tonight's Champions League clash at Old Trafford. And the Turkey star, who KO'd Kieron Dyer in England's Euro 2004 qualifier in Istanbul, claims United have been disappointing in Europe since winning the competition in 1999. He believes Rooney, 18, is too inexperienced to cause Fenerbahce trouble and Van Nistelrooy is not at his best after recovering from a hernia problem.
Dave Kidd, The Sun

Ohhh..what a good feeling putting 6 goals past a trash talking keeper. Next...Arsenal and Chelsea. Hopefully Fergie can shuts Jose Mourinho mouth.

britney's stuff. weird....

ohh...my god. this is damn weird and shocking. usually i won't give a 'F' to what's happening to her. but this is just freaking interesting. dave... control yourself.
follow this link: britney's stuff
viewers will be surprised!!!! not suitable for person below 1 month.

POSERS

I found out this article from 'The Star' in their weekly column for youth. It was pretty funny to see how young people like to dress these days. I had seen a lot of people with all sorts of
UN-conventional dressing. Well the worst that I had ever seen is a group of malays in terengganu (if I'm not mistaken in Besut. They were in their early 20's, and they dressed as punks, boots, safety pins, spiky multicolored hair, or skin head etc. And the worst was a group of kids maybe 12 or 13 year olds, who dressed like punkers (and they were loafing near Black Widow (one of the jamming studios in Jalan Gasing), and groups of Chinese would dressed like 'Hong Kong superstars', collar flipped up, spiky dyed hair (for those who finished or been kicked out of school), a pair of sandals, and some accessories. Other's with t-shirt with the anarchrist emblem/logo and proud of that.
for those who's shallow in knowledge/or never did any research of what the hell they are wearing, they think they could be punk, Goth, skin heads, and other 'clan' of subcultures just by dressing as one. Come on people, you can't be punk by just dressing like one or listens to punk music. Did you know how they become punk, when they originated, what's the purpose of punk, what they fight for? Did they knew why rapper would wear their caps in a different way. And why rap exist in the first place.

If can't answer the some pretty basic questions above, please don't say that you are a punk, Goth, or what-so-ever. You might probably end up being address as a POSER. It's just like some guy who told you that he likes britney spears in front of you, but in front of others, he would say that he like world music, and he thinks by bluffing his way through can increase his status around people. These sub-cultures are more into believes for the people who adhere it, rather than just dressing. i may not know a lot about these things, but a change of dressing wont make you Punk or Goth, you got to feel it inside of you.

Here is a letter from a girl who's naive enough to change her 'personality' from one after another. ohh..please get a life, girl. don't be an airhead... PERSONALITY IS THE REAL YOU DEEP INSIDE. NOT JUST DRESSING, SO IF NEXT TIME YOU DRESS LIKE SPIDER-GIRL, OR SUPER GIRL, DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ACTUALLY ONE.

If you (candice chai) wanna prove that people will discriminate others by their dressing/personality/attitude you can see it everyday in your life without going into these extremes. for starter, how a 'black' / 'un-fair' / tanned person (girl) woould be compared to a fair one. how would a fat person would be teased/humiliated/make fun of by some thinner poeple in school, how 'book-worms'/nerds/geeks to be compared with more popular/handsome guys. these things don't just happens in EUROPE/US etc, it happens here in our own backyard. And how indians can be descriminated by just their skin colours. i knew some people would feel disgusted if being seated beside an Indian.

Testing a Theory Letters (letter taken from 'the star')

I AM 16 years old and I like experiencing new adventures. So this year, I had this crazy idea about changing my personality each month. All I wanted was to see people's reactions. The outcome was not as I'd expected. This is my diary of events.

Beginning of the year
Just being myself. I found out that my friends don't mind me even though I'm rather annoying and loud.

Early April
I became a loner. Everyone thought I was having problems and did not want to share them. I realized my friends were concerned about me and thought I was going crazy because I used to be 'noisy'.

Mid-June
This time, I took the personality change to a higher level. I changed my style, dressing, way of thinking, and the way I talked. I chose to be a 'Goth', that is, someone who likes black, and dresses differently from others. . I went to school and everyone thought I was possessed or something. My friends thought I had changed into someone meaner and more aggressive.

End July
According to my research, a 'Gothic' person sometimes practices magic so this month, I decided to imitate a witch. I found it rather amusing when someone spread a rumour that I was cursing people whom I disliked with black magic and making voodoo dolls. But the truth is I never did cast a spell on anyone. As the days passed, my friends began avoiding me. Some even advised me to stop this magical stuff. I even freaked my parents out - they thought I was insane and needed medication. I continued this act until Aug 31. More of my friends stayed away from me; they always used the same sentence to communicate with me ('Are you all right?') or they would just look at me in a strange way. Because of the pressure, I decided to stop acting this way.

Early September
I finally ended my test as my exams drew near. I find a 'Gothic' person fascinating because I found out some people look down on a 'Gothic' person. My friends reacted weirdly around me so it showed that they were afraid of being around a 'Gothic' person and they would look down on someone like that. This is really disappointing as I thought my friends could accept someone different than them. Well, to me, you shouldn't't judge someone by their looks. It's what is inside their hearts that matters.
I found my friends treating me like someone different and it really bothered me.
The point is, if I'm someone different on the outside, why couldn't't they see it was the same old me in the inside?
All I'm trying to say is that people always judge others by their looks and not by their personality. I just hope people out there have the courtesy to get to know someone before they judge them.


Candice Chai, Kuala Lumpur

wow!!!

wow..liew mei (one of my friends and former form 6's gang) sent me a message through the chat box. surprised..surprised.....

what a saturday!!

well, the nescafe's thingy had finally ended for dave. it was a relieve for him. he said he doesnt do well in it. and ended up bluffing the judges. oppsss!! hmppphh....waste my money only to sms him (to give 200% support; hmm....actually i used my mom's phone to sms him. so takpe lah dave, your forgiven) hahah... anyway, life goes on.

And we'll do another jamming session on the month of october. Hopefully i can finish up some songs (without interuption from the 'evil PS2'.

Last Saturday was a mixed of fortunes (good and bad)
The good: I was told to work on saturday (it was an off day). damn fucking pissed with the damn "china-man". i really wanna show him a 'pissed-off face', but fortunately he was not in the office. lucky him. and one more thing that was good. upon reaching the office, i went to my work station, and i found out that my window's activation period had expired. so i cant log into window. and therefore i cant start work that day. so ...with a happy and smiling face, me and one of my colleague went back. yay!!! so when i went back i quickly switch off my phone in case that bloody china man phoned me and ask me to return to the office.

so the bad news, when i switch on the phone around 5pm, i received a sms from fong chan. she met with an accident on the way home. i was fucking worried, if anytHing bad happened to her. so i replied back. her car was being sandwiched. 1 bloody fast car hit her from behind, and after that her car hit the car in front of her. so now her car was badly damaged (according to her; and it looked like sardines??). Her head hit the steering wheel, and she suffered some minor injuries. She complained bout headache. I asked her to make an appointment with a doctor to do some check-ups. I just worried bout internal injuries. Now she don't have any transportation to go for work and classes.
Yesterday, I asked her how she's going to attend classes if the car was unavailable (was still being repaired, and she asked me to send her to classes. yay!!! This the chance to 'see' her again. she's been so busy that i cant really sort of 'date' her these days. but we're in contact with sms. The last time we went out was like a few month ago.
Well... hopefully she will be okay soon.

NESCAFE'S SHAKY START

well, 'somebody' is feeling the heat for the Nescafe Kick-Start. and he planned to even withdraw from the competition (chickened out). so after i few sms counseling session, i managed to A)convinced him to continue with the thing B)made him more nervous. only himself knew what he's thinking now.
well, for a start, yesterday i told him that he was one of the 200 contestants that being filtered out from a number 6000 people. that's a lot. so, he was like so damn surprised to hear that. hmm..quite impressive, considering he had been selected from 6000 people.
i really hoped he can do that. not only he can achieve his dreams (he is helping me, fei and wai achiving our dreams also) is that a noble act or what?? hahah.... he can help 3 person to achieve their dreams and at the same time, achieve his own dreams. hahah...so fc, we really count on you this time. if you need help, i will give all out to help you.
he;s getting some sort of problems in his academic part of his presentation. hope he can figured out what's needed to be figured out.
JUST ONE ADVICE: I READ FROM AN ARTICLE THAT YOU HAVE TO CONTRIBUTE SOMETHINGS TO THE SOCIETY IF YOU MANAGED TO ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS. SO NEED TO CONCENTRATE ON THAT.

mercedes benz driving student

i went to lunch with one of my indian colleague 2day. after lunch, she went to the public phone to make a few calls (it's like her habit). then i saw something that's quite interesting.

as i was standing near the phone booth, i saw one mercedes benz (i'm not sure what's the model: the one with round light-shaped like a peanut) i saw a guy, like my size, not handsome, looks below average, secondary school student. at first i thought he was a working guy or something. when he parked his car, i saw him with a chick. i wonder, if he's not a rich brat, not driving a mercedes benz, would the girl went out with him? should a student drive his parent's mercedes benz to school? i really think that is to impress the chick and S.O of his status and wealth of his father. if without the all the mercedes benz, i don't think the chick with go out with him. what a fucking rich brat!!!

so the other thing i saw was an old lady. the one who sells lottery tickets around that area. luckily it was not hot. she was like around 60year old. walking was quite a difficult task for her. she was like limping. she was slow. after a few steps, she would stop, wipe the sweats from her head. i think almost everyday, she would do the same thing. walking from table to table selling lottery tickets. only being faced by rejection. making a few bucks was difficult for her. i wonder if she got childrens? where a lot of old citizens were enjoying their golden age at home, with family members and granchildren. she still have made several trips between restaurants to earn her something to eat. i really pity her. she offered to sell the lottery tickets to me several times already, but i'm really not an avid gamblers. maybe ocassionally i'll buy a few 'bet'. i know i wont be winning any money from that. so why i should be wasting my moneys. at last u will lost more than you can win back (if you are lucky enough to win), if you're full of bad lucks, never won anything before even once. back to the rich guy. he never faced any difficulty in life, enjoying all the wealth his father had to offer. we never think of other people's suffering when we had a good life, not even me (well, maybe somtimes). so when we hit rock-bottom, suffering from major set-backs we'll start to think of other people. what happened to the same people that once in the same league as you. even you never suffers from setbacks and difficulty in life, please do think of the people that suffered from these kind of situation. if you can afford to lend a helping hand, do not hesitate to offer a helping hand.

nescafe kickstart contest

dave sms'ed me yesterday. he told me earlier that he entered the nescafe competition. so we talk bout the competition yesterday. he was quite freak out actually. he said he cant make it. later he said that he might need us to help him out if he was choosen to be the top 4. he might get 30K to help you achieve his dreams. and with that money, he said he might hired us to help, and also sponsor me a new start with a new wah-wah pedal, and a sum of money. the competition will take bout one month. if he really made it, i will fucking quit my job and join him for that month. fuck my company, yay!!
now i was more freak out than him. damn...what if he really made it. and he and the rest of the band will perform in the nescafe kickstart (if the organiser allow us to do that). i better ask dave for the the details. now also i'm freak out..arghh!!!. i think the pressure is now all on him. i'm also feeling it.
hmm...i wonder if i can keep the axe and the wah2 (he really made it) nyek nyek nyek!!

the village people

was listening to and andrea bocelli and jimi hendrix's mannish boy (first time listened to it). and guess what, one of my colleague said that he sings like some dog barking. what the fuck is wrong with these people?? all they listened to is tamil songs and pop songs. i don't mind what they are listening to, but before u critise some musicians, u better asked who they are, what's their background or whatever, before starts insulting them. i was getting pissed working these kind of people, airheads with no knowledge in nothing at all. it's ok if you don't appreciate other genre music, but please don't insults them till they don't worth a cent. jimi hendrix can kick your sorry tamil station's ass all joined up together anytime, amywhere. these people were so damn fucking ulu, man. never listen to other stuff except their own language's songs. they are worst than people from kampung/village. all they know is tamil songs and tamil stations.

i've been patient enough

I was fucking pissed with one of my colleague. It started with the songs I had listened to these few weeks. As I'm the only one that has a set of speakers on my PC, I did fully maximize the whole thing (as a music lover + amateur musician). Listening to all my CD collection starting from Tommy Emman + Chet Atkins, pearl jam, metallica, smashing pumpkins, RHCP, green day, coldplay etc. and this guy was so into tamil songs. so this guy was beginning to be bored by all my music listening. and he started to mock me. he was critisising the vocal (but not in constructive point of view) and mocking the vocal of rock vocalist (with his fucking awful vocal). and complained what the hell he's singing. i was really pissed by these kind of actions. so fucking childish. i was trying to be patient for awhile. a day after another, he will do it more often, he was condenming creed, coldplay, red hot chili peppers and a hell lot more. he said he was boring with the playlist. i still be patient with him. and i tried to listen to the internet radio coz he was boring the repetitive songs that i played. and each time, i would control the volume so that it won't disturb them all. this motherfucker already gone too far today. he's been doing it again. i was really fucking pissed already. he and another indian colleague was forcing me to listen to an indian radio station. what the fuck??!!! what will they do when i listen to chiese songs, chinese radio stations all the time. and they don't even understand what a word they said. i tried to listen to english songs so that they are familiar with english stuff. they insist me to listen to a tamil station. thr.ragga or something.
if one more time, he fucking pissed me off with the mocking again, i will surely give him a good ol fucking lash on his face.

musicians conference.

confession musicians and singers around the world. (actually there's only 2 persons involved; me and dave)

billy corgan: dude, relax... just go there and slap that bugger. or you pray hard that lightning will strike that bugger.

dave: billy!! *bow* how nice of you to drop in! but... you sound like...fc?? nyek nyek

tcaye: bugger, i thought fei's not going or even replied your sms. ihh...billy corgan dropped by. how cool is that. maybe tommy emman will too.

tommy emmanuel: hi billy! nice to see you in david's page..nyek nyek

chet atkins: ohh..it's the 'kid from down under". it's been a long time we didnt jam our ol fp. when you are coming down?

tcaye: ohh..my god!! chet comes alive. returned from hell to post a msg in your blog!! wow!!! are you proud or what? all those stars in your blog

tommy emmanuel: hey chet! i thought you died sometime ago???

dave: yalah!! damn proud! *shy*

bono: hey my man, wassup? saw my name in google a lot, and followed this link here. haha. hey tommy! hey chet! i always like fingerstyle. nyek nyek

eric johnson: yeah! fingerpicking is the best! woo hoo! way a go, dave!

the G3 gang: yeah, fingerstyle rocks! better than our shreadings..

chet atkins: (eerie style) "that's why i asked you when you are coming down (to hell). hahah

britney spears: ooo....i like...fingerstyle. it's sexy..ahh...oooo so sexy

christina aguilera: me too...fingerstyle makes me feel soo... good

siti nurhaliza: saya pun minat fingerstyle...

jimi hendrix: i really regret i didnt learn to play fingerstyle... why! why! why!

tcaye: your site is getting popular. even the dead are returning to post in your blog. i'm proud of you, my man

dave: yalah eh? i'm also so proud of myself...oh my god. damn lawak

michael jackson: Oww!! Oww!! Uh Uh!! fingerstyle makes me feel so...Oww!

john lennon: yes...we must learn f***ing fingerstyle guitar!! yoko will be so proud of me. and paul don't have to play. haha.. Wed

westlife: yes..we agree..we must stop playing C G Em D chords. we must learn... FINGERSTYLE

goo goo dolls: man...we should learn fingerstyle guitar. we're running out of alternative tuning ideas. Wed

roger wang: yeah, i agree with you guys (although some of you are dead). fingerstyle rocks. after all, i am a fingerpicker!!

leonard tan: the bjs must make more fingerstyle songs!! then i can tepuk tangan bersama!!

tcaye: my god..pliz stop it man. memang lawak antarabangsa. damn funny. we got another talent. buat lawak bodoh.

joni mitchell: reznik..you should ask me for the tuning. i got 50 or more alt tunings. apalah lu..if dunno ..ask!!!

BCL: since westlife wanna learn FS, i also wanna learn. then i can play Fs and joget at the foyer at the same time.

james hetfield: yearghhh..i dun wanna do f**king heavy metal no more. i'll go FS and kick some sorry asses. yearghhh!!! hell yearghhh!!

ah beng: i oso wan play pingerficking. i dun lap techno animore. techno no good for my ear. ecstacy oso make me head pain.

tcaye: now techno loving ahbengs also regret going to disco and take ecstacy. they also wanna play FS. U should be proud of yourself today

dave: oh my god. i just cannot read this box for now. i dah buat bising skit in the lab. shit man..lawak antarabangsa

aru: i dah menyesal dan insaf! aku akan main fingerstyle from now on. (tak payah pekik "GROWLLLROLL!!")

johnny reznik: joni: 50 only ah? i used them all already. still no idea.

tcaye: god, we're really damn weird and crazy people. how many people can do this kind of crazy stuff. better stop it lah. for your healths sake. later u kena kicked out from the lab. damn malu.

this dialogue is also available in dave's blog

woohooo...somebody got fired!!!

i got a news from Mae yesterday night. she called me when i playing Smackdown "Here Come The Pain". After i took the call, she asked whether i'm sleeping coz i was slow to answer her call. then i told her that did she expect me to jump to the phone on the first ring?? After a few laugh, then she told me that Steven 'one hell of an asshole', my former marketing manager in my first company had been FIRED by my former boss. OUCH!!!! THAT HURTS FOR HIM. SERVES THAT MOTHERF****R RIGHT! He had been an ass to me when i'm working there. giving me all sorts of problem, say lots of nasty things to me and hell lot of things which really fucking pissed me off. i even planned to return some 'favour' to him soon. but now i think i'll forget the whole thing coz GOD has help me. at least he got what he deserves. WAIT!! He deserves more than that. He's been an ass to everybody in the company, including the customer. so the lasting thing he should do is pissing the boss (a dato'), which i won't give a damn bout it. how he got the title?? apple polishing some Pahang Royalty (and a well known one).
anyway i felt sooooo.........good yesterday night, i even tell fong chan bout it (hmm..i tell her everything...well almost)

can't stop laughing

today, i was really busy. loafing the whole day in dave's blog. and we're doing some pretty stupid jokes. impersonating one artist after another, from the dead ones and to the ones that are still pretty much alive. just enjoying every moment of it. it pretty much revolves around finger style guitar. am i crazy or what?? it started yesterday when i put in 'billy corgan's' name in his chatter box.

during luch time (yesterday afternoon) i called marni from a public phone. my phone nowadays are pretty broke. and the salary i get is not enough!!! aarghhh!!!
it's been a long time i called a coursemate/fren. i usually text message to them. i did some exception yesterday, i called up marni. i usually called her but not others. she was one my good fren in penang. after all, both of us are kaki music (music fan) i still remembered that i disclosed one of my 'so-called-secret' to her and dave (i think). as a self-professed rockers/musician there's an unwritten rule bout boybands. any serious rockers/musician don't like boybands. sometimes they hate those boybands to their guts. i also cant tell why. after it was an unwritten rule. if i can tell you why, then it's a rule already.

so..what's my secret?? it was a long time ago before i was into guitars and rock music. i actually bought backstreet boys' debut album. hahah..i dunno what made me do it. but i just did it. so there's one day, marni told me that she wanted to buy an album. she asked me to guess what's the album. i really can't get ti. so finally she told me that she wanted to buy blue's album. then we both had a good laugh at ourselves. a rock music fan once bought a backstreet boys' debut album and beautiful love songs complilation. it's not wrong to buy a boybands album if you're a rock fan. it's just your ego. u can't past through your ego. i must admit some pop albums are catchy. but definately not those cheeky girls, lou bega, dr bombay style of pop. those sucks. maybe sometimes it's better than some distortion oriented songs (the ultra heavy-noisy-brutal-ear shattering songs)

i've been a 'dickhead' to my boss

for all my working days in my new company, i never ahd a word of praise for my boss, just a few millions of badmouthing/day since i started working here. but things are different from my boss. i often got praising from from him. maybe his knowledge in design is not very good, so when i did something he will say it is good, that i had done a good job bla bla...just now only he praised me on the cd designing job. i really feel that i'm a bad person. my boss is also not a bad person, just a stingy, and calculative person who thinks money are the most important thing in the world. everything is money, and cost.
btw, i don't give a fuck lah. every person in the world has it's own ways and attitude and personality. if everybody is the same, then we're robots not humans.

a tribute to billy corgan

going through wikipedia website. i was so damn bored, so i searched for 'the smashing pumpkins'. guess what?? i found the smashing pumpkins in wikipedia. woohoo...there are quite a lot of information bout them.
AND I EVEN FOUND BILLY'S BLOG IN IT. WOW!!! IS THAT COOL OR WHAT??!!
then suddenly it came across my mind. i wanna thank billy personally because of his work and the band, it really shaped up my playing. it really influenced me a lot during my guitar learning phase. i even bought the mellon collie tabs when i'm in form 4. i was really desperate at that time, i don't even mind the price. it was hell to pay to buy it at that time. (i was just a poor schooling kid last time) and i forked out 150buck (in RM) just to buy a book, without thinking twice. i bought it at tower records. blood sucking company...
When i entered billy's blog, i thought i can say a zillion thanks to him from deep inside my heart. anyway, i can't post any comments in his blog/page. arghhh!!!!!
anyway..even he cant stumbled upon my blog, i wish to say, "THANKS BILLY X1000000000. YOU'RE MY FUCKING GUITAR GOD".

PM- do not associate the bombing with malaysia

When i read the newspaper on saturday/sunday, our Prime Minister had made a comment on the bombing in Indonesia. In his comment, he told the media/indonesian government not to associate the recent bombing with Malaysia. He also mentioned that it was the action of an individual. When it comes to the bad things that happens around the world (which Malaysians are involved), we tend to disassociate them with the country. maybe it will tarnish the government's/country's image around the globe, making it one of a 'terrorist haven' in the world and give Malaysia a bad name. I'm not saying that the government should be held responsible for the action by the so-called-intellect-expert bombmaker, please don't say that they are not a malaysian citizen at all and disassociate all course of actions taken by the guy. even in the local political scenes, i had heard from some of my few frens mentioned bout few of their lecturer in local Uni are preaching anti-government sentiments. In front of hundreds of students, the lecturer were 'blasting' the government. These fanatics should held under the ISA. That bugger is not doing anything right for the student. he should remember that he get paid to teach, not to brainwashed the mind of the students he supposed to be teaching. Should the Uni administration be held responsible, or the government should be taken the blame for nurturing those fanatics in sponsoring those assholes to study in other countries. Making them more 'intelligent' and came back to bite the hands that fed them.
So..if the government/people do not want to associated a 'fully qualified' malaysian (but a bad one) with the country, how bout mr guy sebastian (a former malaysian for only 4 years)? just because he had won the australian idol, and he was once a 'klang boy', people accepted him with open arms. Is he still Malaysian?? He was now an australian now, because of his newly found fame, people wants to associate him with the country, and recently an article disclose that Vijay Singh (the golf player who married a malaysian) applied for a Malaysian PR about 20 years ago. but his application was rejected. So 20 years after, when Vijay became the top golfer this year toppling Tiger Wood from his crown as reigning number one, a lot of stories came out and they say this and say that and bla bla bla...( lots of 'grandmother stories' were revealed)
The Conclusion: When you do bad things, people do not want anything to do with you, when you're 'something' (even when you a former malaysian and you don't speak a complete sentence in Bahasa Malaysia )and a Malaysian PR applicant 20 years ago) they wants anything to do with you. They want treat you like their own family and friends.
So... to Vijay Singh (congrats to you- even though i'm not a golfing fan) you really kicked their sorry ass hard (for those dumb ass who rejected you 20 years ago for not granting you a PR status) and Guy Sebastian- no comment (i'm an anti-idol person, ok) and one more thing would the people here accept a normal human being (a former malaysian minus the fortune and fame) with open arms? i wonder??

the bomb

i was back from work around 6pm++. i could be back earlier if not for my boss who wants me to do some work. i was pretty boring with these kind of situation. from 5 to 6pm i had finish 4 graphic assignments for him. unfortunately, i did some pretty stupid mistakes, so..i had been held back in the office. after a few 15 minutes later, the electricity in the whole area was cut off including my home. if you don't know, my home is less than 5 minutes walk. even the god help me..hahah.
i reached home bout 6:30pm, along the way i met some of my neighbours who was going to the night market (pasar malam). thinking of pasar malam, i had been that place for more than 10 years (even it was like less than 10 minutes of walking.)
i rested myself on the couch, at the same time, i'm searching for today's newspaper. i was surprised with what i saw on the front page. i never felt so disgusted, pity, angry and sad. why i can feel all these emotions at the same time?? the image was an indonesian man who's carrying a child (who's not more than 10years old). behind the man, was the debris of buildings, car wreckage, smokes and etc. it was the child that the man was carrying who made me feel sad. i had never been so touched with an image before. i stared at it for more than a minute. the young innocent girl was one of the victim of the bombing at the australian embassy in indonesia. from the image, i can tell that she was naked at that time. she was bleeding profusely. the part between her buttock and waist had been seriously injured by the bomb. i can see that a very huge chunk of flesh had been blown away. how can he do that do the young girl and other people at that area. they were just innocent by-standers who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. thay had done nothing wrong to deserve this (not even the baddest human being). if the guy that had problems with the australian government, or anyone in this whole fucking universe please don't ever resolve to this kind cruel method. there are many ways to solve problems. i just hope that God will punish these kind of human being. i pray that they will get what they deserve. you are a disgrace to all living organism in this planet.
this is the fucking act of a coward, a total loser who don't have the guts to do his act openly. resolving to use a home made bomb to do his job. the police hsd link the incident to the al-qaeda network. and guess who's the suspect behind it. a fucking malaysian. you really made the whole malaysia proud of your achievements in indonesia. and he's not any kind of normal person in malaysia. apparently the guy who made the bomb was a lecturer, a professor and an expert in making bombs(if i'm not mistaken). how can his family live with that monster. i'm sure he also had daugther. what would he do IF his daugther been blasted with a bomb?? (make another bomb and blast others back??)
i really hope one day he'll get what he deserve. i hope he will make a dumb mistake and blown himself into billions of pieces.even the smartest person make mistakes. i can't wait to see that day.....

humbleness...a must.

just now i read something on dave's blog. about humbleness (of a coursemate of his Choy Wan (is it??). i'm not so sure). then i recalled something from the past. it happened a few years ago, no... not that long, maybe 2 or 3 years ago in Perangin Mall in penang. i still remembered that particular day which took place in Popular Bookstore (the cd and cassette section). i met J.C (one of the songwriters in USM's wanderers) there. as i was walking pass the cd racks towards him, i saw one chinese cd (the cd was one of the lastest cd released at that time). a chinese guy with red hood. some taiwan guy if i'm not mistaken. i chatted with him for a while. then with a S.O (show off) face, he picked up the cd i mentioned just now. he turned the cd to the back and pointed one of the song on the cover. the title was (dave would had guess it) "Serina". he said to me with S.O look, "i wrote that." then i said "ooo.." usually everytime somebody gave some surprise or anything, my reaction would be a straight face accompanied with "oooo..." i would never over-react (maybe sometimes lah, when i'm over-excited) or show my emotion. this one of my weakness. THE-NO-REACTION-EMOTIONLESS-FACE.
maybe he has the rights to show off his stuff. beside, what will you do if your creation was sang by somebody, recorded and bought by a record company.
because of that incident, i think wanna do something about my talent now (should had thought about it a few years ago). i wanna show that i can do it also. to have something to be proud of, my creations. sometimes because of my confidence, i restricted myself from a lot of things and opportunity.
one day, i can show it to him the whole album from BJ, and shove it to his face. i've been humble enough all the time, sometimes i can't tell the difference between humble and under-confidence. i doubt my talent for a long time, but since meeting dave, fei and wai....i'm aware of my talent and what i can do with it. i'll make sure my fret-work with pound on your head like Mike Tyson (in his hey-day) especially to the people what said "i wrote this" to me once upon a time...

arghh..ringtones!!!!

there's one thing that i can't tahan (stand). these damn handphones had been here for ages, but still there are still some pretty ulu/sakai people out there who really just likes to play and listen to their own handphone ringtones. just now, one of my colleague just done that. and it's very irritating esp when 4 people cramped into one fucking small room in the office. and he was like listening to his 'tamil song' ringtones fullblast with another indian lady. i had also notice that people do these at public places, restaurants, and any place in the whole damn universe u can think of. WHAT'S WRONG PEOPLE??!!! is there nothing for you to do lately. i really hated this damn ring tones listener in public places. can they respect other people's rights for a quiet environment?
those ahbengs/ahlians/uncle/etc with handphones ringing in the cinema is irritating enough, but this is just plain bullshits. go listen to radio or something, not your damn RINGTONES!!! what happened to the signal jamming device? (but this one would not work).. maybe the management should assign a 'bouncer' or something like that to kick out those fucking idiots from the cinemas when they're making a hell lot of noises with the handphones.

HELP!!!!!!

my day had not been good so far. both of my parents will be going to sabah today, they were in kl yesterday. so my mom left her handphone for my uncle to use (in case of emergency and for business purposes). this morning around six, my mom's phone rang. that damn fucking phone rang so damn loud that it woke me up. i answered the call politely even though i'm fucking pissed. it was one of the customer of my parents. why the hell those people would wants to ring people early in the morning. that bitch wanted me to pass my uncle a message. i thought my uncle would be back soon. so i have to wait for him. i wanted to leave him a message, but i don't know how to write it. you see, he's didnt know how to write/read in english/bm. only a bit of chinese.
and i don't know how to write in chinese (knew only a bit of chinese characters.) this is the result of skipping P.O.L classes since i'm young. just hated those classes.. back to the damn phone call. eventually my uncle came back around 7:30am. my eyes were wide open. i can't sleep anymore. thanks to that bitch. why can't she pass the message yesterday nite?? making my life miserable only...well at 8 am i played 'spidey 2' for half an hour before preparing to go to work. i finished the first part of it, defeating doc ock yesterday nite. i never realised that it was so short. i just started to play the game on sunday. usually it will take me a lot of time to finish a game, sometimes even month to finish it (esp RPG games like final fantasy. i havent tried any final fantasy game on my ps2, maybe not now).
well, currently i'm doing the civilain saving part (the 2nd part) of the game. at the same time i have to collect tokens, take on a few photographing assignments for the daily bugle (damn i sounded like i'm actually peter parker) hopefully the game wont have the same effect as GTA (driving on the wrong side of the road). well, the format for this new spidey game is something like GTA actually. u can explore whole new york city, from harlem to manhattan, rossevelt island?? and bla bla bla... damn i need to finish off my poster assignment today and need to stay awake till 6pm. arghh....it's been a tough day for me and now it's only 10:54am man...

Help! i need somebody,
Help! not just anybody,
Help! u know i need someone,
HELP!!!.....
(lennon/mccartney)

btw, we plan do record another demo next month. so i'll finish up some songs (if i'm not busy...well i had been busy these days after work).

S.P (Simple Pleasure @ S**** P***) and S.L (Shattered Life)

I read Dave's 'confession' today. Personally i'm surprised, for a guy like him keeping a secret is quite difficult. But now i realised that he still a 'few skeletons in the closets'. Well, we all had a few of them right?? Some things are better left untouched...remained in a dark corner deep inside our heart...
Well, S.P is the initial for a girl i like last time when i'm doing BFA in Graphic Commnunication. I even wrote a song especially for her with the title S.P. (but i don't have the chance to give it to her, but i performed it to her during our Art Nite, and she don't even knowing it. Maybe one of these days, i'll send it to her or something, just to let her know) I think all members of BJ's knew bout it already (and even kutuk that initial- damn kejam punya buggers. i don't wanna mention what they say.) Until today i still think of her. i dunno why, i left USM for quite sometime now, more than a year and a half, but i still had that feeling. Well, these kind of things are difficult to explain...

We did not progress fast, or shall i say, didn't even had a proper relationship at all (but the feeling is strong). We're attracted to each other, but at last she's been with another guy. We actually started as friends/coursemates (i'm giving too many hints already -to people who knew me esp my beloved coursemates). Things had been normal for the the first 3 sems. Nothing special happened.
The attraction started during our 3rd year, the 1st semester. I don't know when is the precise date, i did remember that particular night, it still stuck to my mind; the memories,the details all the stuff we did (nothing much that night except supper early that morning). It started like this, we went for supper that early morning. At first we asked another coursemate along but she was kinda busy/sleepy. She didn't joined us. Both of us walked to the mamak restaurant 'Subaidah-if i'm not mistaken) under the moonlight. As we walked along, we just chat bout the normal things; projects, assignments and other stuff. We finally arrived at that place.
Then, that 'magical moment' happened. As we arrived that place, we need to climb up to some higher platform around the drain area. I climbed up first. It was easy for me as i'm not vertically challenged (this terms inspired by dave). But she was having a tiny bit of difficulty. She called me. I turned around. She asked me to help pull her up. I bent my body slightly, extended my arm to hold hers. Pulling her up towards me (and i still remembered how her hand felt at that time). Our eyes met. Then KAPOWWWW, it hit me like an asteroid crushing to the surface of the earth at 1000km/hour. My mind was focusing on her only. My heart was pounding fast, real fast... i think i had just falled for her!!!

I kept my feeling for myself, still unsure with the feeling that hit me a few minutes ago. We went inside, searching for a place to sit. She sat down first, and i proceed to the chair opposite of the table. She stopped me and asked me to sit beside her. I realised that something 'magical' had happened to me. I was in cloud 9 throughout the supper session. Starting from that day, seeing her is like seeing an angel. Everytime i reached the entrance to the graphic studio, i will be sure greeted by her sweet smile. Ahhh..life is so so soooo sweet for me. Starting from that day, i sat beside her in the studio, and other classes that we went together. I knew some of my coursemates will realise this especially a few of them that is quite close to me. It was too obvious, especially during our Art's Theory tutorials. And most of the times since 'that thing' happened we seldom concentrate much during tutorials. We just chatted away the hours (using pen and papers). We used to write down our conversations in our note book or in a piece of papers. When i opened up my old forgotten and dusty note books, i still see the thing that we had written/chatted. many things are filled with the memories of her, her birthday present to me (a plush cat, the notes, some pictures that we had taken, the songs.. and even a box of art equipment that she gave to me when i taking my painting course. These things reminds me of her. I still remembered that i gave her a stalk of rose as a surprise. It was during USM's 2002 convocation. She said she was a bit sick. i called her down to our secret meeting place, next to the surrounding wall of U-Heights, we chatted for a while, i gave her the rose. She was very happy, i can see the radiant glow from her face eventhough she was sick. Everytime we meet there (before and after 'the moment') we usually chat for more than 1 hour or sometimes 2 hours, we just stand there beside it and talked bout eveything. there are many things in my mind bout her, but i can't recall too many at this time.

Now the S.L part:
A few month's had past, i still don't have the guts to confessed to her. I don't know why, maybe i feared rejection and fear of losing precious friendship. I had enough of this already. There are many times, I didn't make a move because of that. When i finally had the guts to confess (not the usual face-to-face confession, i send her gift of her favourite cartoon character's toy holding a confession card). When she got the present, she sms'ed me saying that she was already attached to somebody. I was too late making my move. Till this day, i really damn fucking regret that i didnt make the first move and i hated myself for it. I can't never forget that nite. I received a sms from her and don't even dare to read it twice. My whole world was crushing down. I was down and depressed but i tried not to show it in front of my coursemates. I try to pretend that nothing had happened. After i got the sms, i planned to start a 'new' life. It was 31st Dec 2001. I went to Komtar, get a spiky haircut, get a blue glasses and to try be another person. But i can't really change myself by by wearing different clothes, sports different hairstyles. It's just a cover-up. That time i was inspired to write S.L (Shattered Life). People who read the lyrics should probably knew what i had written, i'm not a good lyricist, not good with words. What i wrote in my lyrics is somekind of confession of my life at some point.
I need to say sorry to Dave coz i ciplak his 'theme' from his blog. Sorry, ya. hahaha! When he confessed bout Judy, i feel the urge to spill somethings from my heart that had been there for so long. Usually Chyn (one of my best bud, and BJ'sand a few good bud) would know some of my secrets. But i never told him bout this.

lame and puny vocals

i was watching a chinese comedy on the tube yesterday. some old hongkong comedy from the 90's. it's been a while since i had a good laugh watching TV esp old hong kong comedy films. prefer those old schools comedy. but that's not i wanna say today...
what i wanna say is that during the advertisement, they showed an ad for malaysian idol (i'm really not into this show). The clips showed some of the finalist in the show. Then i saw one of the Chinese contestant was singing 'higher-creed' (if i'm not mistaken). The style he was singing was pretty lame especially during the chorus part. His vocal was way too 'puny' compared to the energetic/powerful vocal of Scott Stapp. He sounded just like a boyband member trying to sing out that part. I'm not trying to look down on his talent here, but just trying to say that he should try to find a more suitable song for him to sing. I just don't feel anything (the intensity of the chorus part). Just like a little kid trying hard sing the song. Maybe the popstar-wannabe should stick to their pop songs and try not to corrupt rock songs.
and there's another guy who sang linkin park's 'Numb'. And this guy also has the same problem as the other guy who sang "Higher". No rockish feelings, puny vocal compared to 'Chester-Linkin Park', they really made the song sounded like a nursery rhyme. Please people... before you tried to sing other people's song, think of your vocal limitations. I'm not saying that a vocalist must try to imitate the original vocalist, but a least do retain the intensity and energy of the song...(or you will sound like a little kid trying to sing the song.) And PLEASE don't say, "i don't have any professional training, and i had done my best and has no regret of it and bla bla bla... coz i'm already damn fucking pissed/irritated with the guy who quoted it.
Btw..Spider-man 2: The Game, rocks. it's a damn fucking cool esp the swinging part. it will keep me glued to my tube for another few weeks...without any other activities. shit...my social life is getting from bad to worse....
and one more last thing...the female 16 year-old vocalist had already decided not to join us. maybe it's a good thing for the band. and somebody is doing SUPER minimalist songs (WITH 3 CHORDS) these days. it's a rare 'masterpiece' from our MR FP...back to the good old days in USM

jimi hendrix and fender

i found 2 damn cool site on jimi hendrix and fender guitars. i should somebody should be interested.
jimi's site: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimi_Hendrix
fender strat: http://www.allthingsstrat.com/2003%20reviews/famousstrats.htm

Rain Nation

yesterday i was eager to finish up one one my song. but i failed. maybe i'm sleepy or something. i found that my songwriting process is damn fucking slow. i want my creation to be perfect. i just dunno why.. great songwriters like john lennon prefer 'on the spot approach', to capture the moment of it, for me writing one song took me like...forever. that's why everytime we jam, i dont really had much to offer to the guys. half finished lyrics and songs. i really strive fo perfection (but my songs fail lah) maybe tonight will try to finish up a rough version of "Rain Nation", something like a story telling based song, hmmm..something a 'ciplak' styles from The Beatles- Yellow Submarine (the song that they wrote to tell that they were high on acid, thus reflecting the lifestyles at time, the 60's, psychedelic lifestyle. even George Harisson once admitted that the acid/LSD give them some kind of new inspiration in their songwriting (i hope i don't need that to write a song). all the bj are too 'kwai chai' to try that, we don't even do fag, i wonder how can we progress to acid. let us remain clean. and we're way to clean to be a musicians esp for playing rock music.


Rain Nation

The place is dark and gloomy,
The people there is never happy,
And it's weather is way to chilly, for ordinary person,
like you and me
Come and stay at the Water Inn,
Stay if you sorrows never ends,
Like rain waters dripping in,
soaked the place every litle inch...

*(that'some part from the verse, it sounded like Muse'sque kind of style)

when i wrote this, i was really in a bad bad bad depressing mood. i was looking for a job at that time then there's one of this motherfucking company that giving some problems. they wanted to hire me, later they said they don't want to hire me. i fucking pissed on that day (a dark and gloomy rainy day + depression/bad mood), thus i came up with 'Rain Nation'.

wow!! fei is also a GTA fan....

i'm surprised that fei is a big fan of GTA. hahah! cool stuff!! and bout the hooker thingy, i wanted to do it in GTA, but just dunno how until just now, hahah...i did my research already. after finishing work, then i'll go back and try it. it's good to have the internet..hehehe....i'm still hooked in doing crazy motorcycle/car stunts. i should more crazy stuff.....to keep me sane.
maybe i'll go and buy GTA: Saint Andreas soon. and wreck some havoc there...they should put in a 2 players option there...hahah....( can partner with fei buat jahat around town)

the new vocalist

well, dave forwarded an email from the vocalist i mentioned yesterday. the person was actually a 'she'. we all think that she was 'male' previously. hahah.the way she writes in her mail, i found her really naive. she said she wants the band to a very popular band worldwide. my..my...really high ambitions there. maybe she was too young. i used to think that if we were talented enough we could make it. there were a lot more than. management, some 'packaging' maybe (sounded like we're a boyband' hahah. a lot of publicity and hell lot of practicing, commitment (hmm..i lack a lot i that..sorry guys), determination, courage, guts (to perform out there - performing remains 1 of my damn weaknesses. i have to admit that i'm don't like to be in a spotlight. not like dave, he's quite natural even though we're often nervous before each performance. even being a side-man (with my size, ppl wont look at me as a side man) also, i'm still not enjoying the stage performance. now with me and dave currently sharing the song-writing responsibility, i have to do my own vocal job also. TENSION.....if one day we did make it, and begin to perform,i think when it's my turn to sing, i'll run down from the stage and hide in the loo).well back to the story, her name is joyce, a christian, from ampang. she sounded like she hates her damn school and do some escaping from her current life (escapism??) we all hates school at one point in our life, but juz quit school and join a band?? she's one girl with guts...anyway we'll decide what to do later with her.and her influence was rasmus, elton john??, lion king soundtrack?? and she was not into metal stuff? oh my god..now i feel it's like wrong to listen to heavy metal already. maybe she thinks that our band is just another ordinary rock band (who're all power addcited expect dave;the mister-fingerpicker and yew wai-norah jones. hahah)maybe we can give her some of our stuff and let her decide whether she still wants to join us. it's a good idea also. guys..should we give it try or we give her a try?

new band member and others

a new band member?

a few days ago, i received an email from dave, he told me that there's one 16 year-old was interested to join our humble band.. the 16year old emailed the band that he play a bit of guitar/drums (beginner's level) and piano (grade 5). he hated school life. he feels like quiting school and wanted to join the millions rockstars wannabe (that includes us; Bed" target="_blank">bedroom jam also). all he wants is to play gigs. unfortunately, BJ's haven't had any opportunity to play in any gigs except some minor performances during our USM's years. i used to think that we have some talent then we can be musicians. but boy, i was wrong. it required more than that....
at first, i really felt there will a huge gap among us and him if he's really accepted by the band, which i think is impossible. hahah... if he's a guitar prodigy, or can sing like erm...eric martin or bono, then i'll be first one to welcome him to the band.anyway, let's see whether we have the opportunity to jam with that guy. i think the band is having some vocalist problem. to tell the truth, dave's vocal is too soft, mine is too damn like a eddie vedder (pearl jam copycat/rip-off). i should try to change style a lot. don't wanna be sterotype as a ed ved wannabe just like 'disagree' been stereotype because of the bands vocalist sounds like ed ved.
today i got an email from dave and fei writing bout the 16 year old. 4 person in band is difficult enough, if one more person join in 'the fight'. it will armageddon, baby...
and one more thing, 'jackson' had voiced his intention to me that he wanted to join the band. i dunno how to react to that. i said that i need to discuss with the other band members first. i told dave bout it. he wasn't very happy. if i tell fei..lagi teruk. hahah.. 2 guitarist in the band esp in BJ is already a headache sometimes. luckily we managed to tolerate each other's antics and styles till now. if we add another guitarist in the band, then it means WAR!!!!
there's one thing that contributed to my current playing skills and styles. first, after meeting one of the BJ's fc (our mr. fingerpicker dave). last time we used to trade off a lot of ideas and discuss bout all the things in music. during the earlier phase of 'our partnership', i used to be a lead person while dave doing all the song-writing. i did some song-writing during my first few years of guitar-playing, but it sucked like shit. all i did was lovey-dovey love songs. damn malu to say this to the BJ's. i used to write love songs. hahah.. all members of BJ's looked at me as a damn rockish, metallish bad guy image, ganas and cursed a lot. but i was a fucking jiwang guy. now, when i look back at those lyrics/songs that i had written, i feel eMBA" target="_blank">mbaressed. i really can't face myself for being a 'jiwang karat'. the word 'love' in my songs remains a taboo. even though i wrote Shattered Life (which happens to be a love-lost song and "kantoi-ed in love joke" between me and dave), i never mentioned a word of love in the lyrics. so..if try to write love songs, then fei will be damn surprised... if he read this, he'll know my secrets.....
so after quite long playing along side of dave, i finally found my style of playing/started my song writing evolution (at first without lyrics just instrumental). playing with him give me a lot of confidence dabbling in my own styles. so..a big thank you to mr fingerpicker dave... (but till today i remained a humble player...hahah..betul tak, dave?) let dave do the S.O thing on stage/in the studio, while i remained there standing and playing like a piece of big log.