It's time to forget
It's been more than 2 months. And I found hard not to think of her especially when I'm alone. About a month ago, i received an email from her, a reminder; that 'our' colleague's birthday is near. I did replied (even though i was reluctant at first). But I sounded so cold. I'm still upset with the incident. I'm angry, sad, depressed...... and the worst of all I can't hide it. It really shows it in my face.
It's not that easy to forget someone just like that *snap*.. I initially thought I can get over it within a month. It's not like a scene from a movie, till this day, the image of her still stucked in my memory.
And the other, I sent an email to her. Asking about her life nowadays. But I was so fucking dumb that I mentioned I managed to get a raise (as a counter-offer) from my boss when I submitted my resignation letter. I sounded that I'm really proud of my s0-called achievement.
I had forgotten that she hated the boss to the guts. So there goes my only chance of catching up with her. Although we can't be lovers but at least we can still be friends. But i blew it away, BIG TIME. I really don't know why she is still bloody angry with me? I know as a person, i lacked ambition... But I'm not a bad person.
I got to know that one of the main reasons of our break-up is that I wasn't really thinking of the OUR future. She's fast approaching 28, and wanted to get married and stuff. And she said that she can't see our future together. Which I had to admit, it was true. I wasn't really thinking of US together, i lacked ambition and chose to remain at my present company. It is not that I wanted to feel 'secure' and refuse to leave my comfort zone. I was just thinking that new year will be near soon, and my parents would really need some money. And with the current appraisal, i can at least 'contribute' to the family... If I were to leave, with the pay of 2K, it will be hard, considering i need to pay my rental and stuff... I know most of them won't understand my present situation. All she saw is that i refuses to leave my comfort zone. I can't just quit my job here. I need to support myself here, and my parent are not living in KL. Where the hell I'm supposed to stay if i quit? And not yet got a job?
But since she didn't reply my email and message the other day.... i knew i had to stop thinking of her. It's all history NOW. No point making myself miserable anymore. It's time to be my own self again minus some of the bad traits of the old me.
Well, that's life..... It's time to pick up myself again.
It's not that easy to forget someone just like that *snap*.. I initially thought I can get over it within a month. It's not like a scene from a movie, till this day, the image of her still stucked in my memory.
And the other, I sent an email to her. Asking about her life nowadays. But I was so fucking dumb that I mentioned I managed to get a raise (as a counter-offer) from my boss when I submitted my resignation letter. I sounded that I'm really proud of my s0-called achievement.
I had forgotten that she hated the boss to the guts. So there goes my only chance of catching up with her. Although we can't be lovers but at least we can still be friends. But i blew it away, BIG TIME. I really don't know why she is still bloody angry with me? I know as a person, i lacked ambition... But I'm not a bad person.
I got to know that one of the main reasons of our break-up is that I wasn't really thinking of the OUR future. She's fast approaching 28, and wanted to get married and stuff. And she said that she can't see our future together. Which I had to admit, it was true. I wasn't really thinking of US together, i lacked ambition and chose to remain at my present company. It is not that I wanted to feel 'secure' and refuse to leave my comfort zone. I was just thinking that new year will be near soon, and my parents would really need some money. And with the current appraisal, i can at least 'contribute' to the family... If I were to leave, with the pay of 2K, it will be hard, considering i need to pay my rental and stuff... I know most of them won't understand my present situation. All she saw is that i refuses to leave my comfort zone. I can't just quit my job here. I need to support myself here, and my parent are not living in KL. Where the hell I'm supposed to stay if i quit? And not yet got a job?
But since she didn't reply my email and message the other day.... i knew i had to stop thinking of her. It's all history NOW. No point making myself miserable anymore. It's time to be my own self again minus some of the bad traits of the old me.
Well, that's life..... It's time to pick up myself again.
Labels: break up, Heartbreak
posted by TK at 8:03 PM
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