depression sunk in!

feeling kinda depressed this week. it's because of my work. been into shits, heavy shits. i never imagine i could be into these kind of trouble. i been doing those pitching jobs, and they were not up to standard. and for that, i'm in the 'spotlight'. i'm not sure whether that the news was true or not. one of my colleague told me that the MD was quite pissed of with me, because of those pitching jobs. my stuff had been rejected like hell. i know they were not very good. i tried very hard to do a better job, but somehow they were not satisfied. i tried my best. how can u expect somebody to like improve like in a month's time. if everybody can improve in a month's time, why the they require people who work for 5years or 10 years. they can just take a 17 year-old, and they will be fucking good in a month. i admit i did screwed up a some stuff. sometimes i really cant concerntrate on my work, i don't have any distraction, but sometimes, i work for long hours and after i reached home it was already like 10pm++, and the next morning i need to wake up around 6:45am for work. if it's been going on for the past few weeks, i wonder if they could stand it. things are different for people with transportation. they could just wake up around 7:30 and still make it to work on time, and some even come in late for more than half an hour (at 9am++)., even they went back late for the previous day.
i really hope that i won't screw up my job. i enjoyed working there, coz i knew that i could learn a lot of things. the MD was suggested that they should hire someone else instead of paying up somebody that couldn't do the job right. and the AE's were not helpful to me, they would sit down with the other designers to give them ideas, suggestion and changes if they felt it was not good. for me, they just tell me some stuff, and off the go. they don't even bothered to tell me what is wrong with the damn fucking ad (after they take a look at the things that i did). they just shut up and complained to other people. are they trying to screw up my job here. i really hope that fucking bitch will get what she deserved next time. instant karma gonna get you, bitch!!!